life .. . .

jus get my nafa letter. it is unsuccessful haix. so now, i am left with shatec. i hope i can get in and to be able to pursue my tourism course still. haix..

why must life be so hard for me.. all i wan is jus for me to be able to study.. i dont wanna go in to NS so soon. i still miss the outside world. im still not prepared haix.. WHY MUST GOD MAKE SUCH A HARDTIME FOR ME.. WHY CANT HE JUST LET ME GET INTO MY INTEREST COURSE.. WHY!. im screwed!

all people now are enjoying their life. why? cause their studies are already planned.. all done nicely. but for me? it's screwed.. haix

life is nv easy, but cant it there be at least a light shown to me and tell me the way?

im so lost, im so scare. this is the 1st time im scare .. i have no place to study.. seeing ppl goin in to jc , poly. im so happi for them.

i know i studied hard for my O's. but i still didnt do well.. its badly done .. haix

i regret goin sec5, i shld have gone to ite sooner and i could be well on my way to poly le. haix. i am so stupid!

but there is nothin i can do now. all i can do is to soak in the world of misery for me. haix..

i wanna retake my Os. but i cant do it private. i cant defer off.. it is not allowed. life is so unfair.
haix. why cant the government jus change a little small rule tt it can be defered. im so lost.

any1 help? T_T

why am i born into this world after all. it is onli for us to suffer hardship and not much of happiness. the world changes , so do us. the old dies and the young turns old. what for? all jus for the sake of living. life is full of crapz! do well and be rewarded, do badly and be kicked. life is nv fair!

i hate myself!

31/03/06

the day where shaun is gone from this world.